Why Your Proposal Shouldn’t Be a Surprise

why your proposal shouldn't be a surpriseThis might be an unpopular opinion. but I definitely think that your proposal shouldn’t be a surprise. I helped my fiancé pick out the ring and knew the month he was proposing in, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hear me out.

Marriage is probably the most important decision you will ever make. Who you marry will affect the rest of your life because that person will be at your side forever. You will consult them for every decision that you make. Shouldn’t this start before you get married?

When I knew that I wanted to marry James, I told him. It was a big decision, and we talked about it a lot for almost a year before we got engaged. I brought it to him because I talk to him about everything, and he tells me everything too. I wouldn’t want anything less from the man I’m going to marry. We were always on the same page, or at least understood where the other one stood, and it strengthened our relationship tremendously.

The problem comes in when people get so wrapped in the idea that a proposal should be a surprise. This means you can’t talk about getting married at all, because it might ruin the surprise.

I’m sure that a surprise proposal ends well for many people. If that that’s the case for you, congrats! However, there are also a lot of cases where people end up suffering because of the lack of communication. You see, when you don’t talk about marriage, there are a few things that you can happen:

The girl desperately wants to get married. However, she doesn’t bring it up with her boyfriend because she wants him to surprise her. In the meantime, she builds up resentment because he hasn’t proposed yet. He has no idea why she’s upset, and it ends poorly for everyone.


The man proposes–likely in some big way in front of lots of people-without talking to his girlfriend because he wants it to be a surprise. However, the girl isn’t ready to be engaged and has to awkwardly turn him down, also ending poorly for everyone.

I firmly believe that you should talk openly with the person you want to spent the rest of your life with. Make sure that you are on the same page. Honestly, it can be an awkward conversation if you’re not sure what the other person is thinking, but life is full of awkward conversations. If you can’t have them without the love of your life, then who can you have them with?

You don’t have to know the exact date that he plans on proposing or how he plans to do it. You just want to make sure that you both feel the same way about this life-changing decision.

If you’re reading this and feel it applies to you, congrats! Now go talk to your man!

If you’re already engaged or married, did you know that your husband planned to propose to you, or was it a surprise?

1 Comment

  1. Anna

    February 2, 2018 at 4:44 pm

    We picked out the ring together, paid for it together, (he picked it up by himself), and I knew the day he was proposing (I figured it out the day before he proposed). I thought I knew when and where during the day it was going to be, but he surprised me and it did it earlier! So it was still a lot of communication but he did surprise me. Communication is key.

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